Coming out of the closet is not just an LGBTQ+ thing… even if I convinced myself that it was.

I remember when my fabulous book editor, Sally, suggested the tagline for my book, “Facing big fears, living hard truths, and loving myself fully out of the closet,” and I felt worried that the only people who would even think to look at my book would be members of the LGBTQ+. (Not to mention the fact that it has a rainbow cover and is titled Perfectly Queer. Fine. There may have been a few factors that made it appear a wee bit on the gay side.)

Regardless, we proceeded forward. I was assured by friends, editors, life coaches, and random internet humans that everyone has a metaphorical closet they hide in. Everyone had aspects of themselves that felt safer to keep hidden from their current reality or the surrounding community. To them, the term “closet” was the same as one’s “shadow self”, a term coined by Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung. And as any holistic hippy worth their weight in headbands would know, shadow work is becoming more popular nowadays.

Jung said, “The shadow is that hidden, repressed, for the most part inferior and guilt-laden personality whose ultimate ramifications reach back into the realm of our animal ancestors.” Boy was I glad that back in 2019 I taekwondo chopped my way out of the big queer closet and could now live my closet-free life. From that point forward I could be completely open and free with absolutely ZERO repression to be found. (That was totally me… right? I did it. Closet-0, Jillian-1).

Read the full story on Substack at Reframe with Jillian Abby.

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